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I hail from opposite ends of the spectrum
Jun. 28th, 2017 10:10 amMy father has always been rather set in his ways, but it didn't start solidifying into something else until a few years after he retired. The timeline's long and ill-defined, but we knew he had to be showing some signs of dementia by 2005. At this point, he's living in a memory care facility with what I'd call middle-stage Alzheimer's. He still talks, though it doesn't make a lot of sense most of the time. Mom and I visit him regularly, but often it doesn't feel like it matters much. He's got his peeps in the facility and we're just kind of those annoying people who bring him to his boring room to visit about boring stuff he doesn't remember anymore. We do it anyway because we need to be sure his level of care is being maintained and having visitors makes him feel special.
So last Saturday, we were sitting in his room chatting while he napped, and one of the orderlies stopped by to be sure he was doing OK. To be blunt, this man is large and black. He's also possessed of the sweetest face, whether he knows it or not. But the first words out of his mouth when he saw my mother and I were apologies for scaring us. For the record, neither of us were frightened - we're in a secured facility and Dad's door is locked. If someone comes in, they have sets of keys and belong there. We were smiling at the door to greet whomever was coming in. Mom got really thoughtful after he excused himself.
"I guess when you're tall and black, you have to worry about stuff like that."
And she kept thinking about it as the week went by. And just now we had a discussion about our inherent racism and the impact it has on good people like that orderly. And she's been bringing up her thoughts in conversations with people in her (very conservative) church. She has a flexible, caring mind and I love her to tears for it. Meanwhile, we just threw out Dad's old books, including gems like "HOMOSEXUALITY: THE BAIT OF SATAN." How those two got together and made babies is anyone's guess.
I hope I take after her.
So last Saturday, we were sitting in his room chatting while he napped, and one of the orderlies stopped by to be sure he was doing OK. To be blunt, this man is large and black. He's also possessed of the sweetest face, whether he knows it or not. But the first words out of his mouth when he saw my mother and I were apologies for scaring us. For the record, neither of us were frightened - we're in a secured facility and Dad's door is locked. If someone comes in, they have sets of keys and belong there. We were smiling at the door to greet whomever was coming in. Mom got really thoughtful after he excused himself.
"I guess when you're tall and black, you have to worry about stuff like that."
And she kept thinking about it as the week went by. And just now we had a discussion about our inherent racism and the impact it has on good people like that orderly. And she's been bringing up her thoughts in conversations with people in her (very conservative) church. She has a flexible, caring mind and I love her to tears for it. Meanwhile, we just threw out Dad's old books, including gems like "HOMOSEXUALITY: THE BAIT OF SATAN." How those two got together and made babies is anyone's guess.
I hope I take after her.
