(no subject)

Blink and months go by. Feeling a little unreal tonight. It's official, Dad is going to a memory care facility and I'm glad for it. It's like the dots that made him who he was are still there, but the lines connecting them are mostly missing, intermittent at best. We have watched him deconstruct over the course of this winter with dismay. I've been worried for my mother's sanity, neither one of us was ever cut out for caregiving, especially the 24/7 that goes with late-stage Alzheimers. Now she just has to make it through one more week and she'll be able to breathe in her own home again.  Going to help as much as I'm able.

Being a navel-gazing monkey, the implications for my own future aren't lost on me. I think I would rather die than put anyone through this. With any luck, we won't have to find out if I'd make good on that druther before my time comes.

Enough on that, going to spend the rest of my evening thinking about Ash lazing around Sunday afternoon, tangled in bedsheets with the sun glowing on her skin. I am one lucky little shit. These moments are mine.